Parenting

Parenting is not always easy and passing judgment can be


We recently went on a family vacation to a pretty popular vacation spot for family fun. While there I did some people watching. Well not really people watching but other families watching.

 

 We spent time in the pool with other families staying at the resort and I noticed how each family handled the good, bad and ugly behaviors of their children.  And I compared what they did to what we do. 

 Parenting is not always easy

Both boys are rambunctious and excited when we are vacationing (who am I kidding, they always are). I noticed that our kids weren’t the only ones. But I also noticed that there were some kids who were calm and seemed easy to parent.  I took note of the parents who were in my perception were hard on their kids behind closed doors as I noticed them step a toe out of line and receive a look that made them cross back quickly. 

Parenting is not always easy

 

On this trip we felt that the boys were old enough to do some walking in the downtown area of the town we were in. There were many shops, attractions, restaurants, candy stores and bars. They did really well. And listened when we asked them not to touch things (mostly).

 

 During one of these excursions I took note of another family with a son that was around 7 years old. They had him in a huge stroller and would let him get out only if the building they were going in didn’t have room for the stroller.  I found myself watching and curious about them. Did he have a disability? Were they overly cautious? Did they find it was easier than having him walk with them? As I thought of them I had to remind myself that parenting is not always easy and passing judgment can be. I was judging their decision from the little bit of data that I had. 

 Dad with Stroller

Tonight a good friend had her son at the Doctor and posted a photo of his pitiful little face on her social media account. She felt like she had to justify her post and ask people not to judge her for it. WHY? Why do we do this? Why do we make others feel bad for their parenting decisions? She wasn’t putting him in danger! She was entertaining him by taking photos and also sharing with friends how bad he felt.

 

In the last few months my parenting has been judged by people who had very little data about one of my sons. He has special needs that are not physically apparent.  To those not privy to his issues he sometimes seems out of control and I seem like I can’t handle him. I know that judgment has been passed about him because after removing him from a sports team I was told by a friend who overheard the other Moms of players on the team talking. They said things that they had no right to say or think of him.   They easily gossiped with one another using words to describe him that they would not have dared to say in my presence. How easy it was for them to judge my sweet, wonderful little boy when no one was there to defend him or me.

 

Women Gossiping

Back to the boy in the stroller. After a late dinner and enjoying a bluegrass band playing in the strip my husband and I had two very tired little boys that we had to walk back to our car with. We had parked pretty far away. I found myself thinking of that smart family with the stroller and wishing I had one too.

 

Rather than judging other parents find their strengths and learn from them!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Robyn

Hi! I am Robyn.I have been happily partnered with my hubby for over 25 years and I am mom of two little boys. I will be sharing the good and the bad of my life and telling you about brands and products I believe you should know more about.

Contact Robyn at Robyn@theneighborhoodmoms.com
Robyn

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About the author

Robyn

Hi! I am Robyn. I have been happily partnered with my hubby for over 25 years and I am mom of two little boys. I will be sharing the good and the bad of my life and telling you about brands and products I believe you should know more about.

Contact Robyn at Robyn@theneighborhoodmoms.com

15 Comments

  • Sadly we all spend way too much time judging everyone around us as if we have the “know it all” answer. If we just took a little time out each day to open our heart and eyes to those around us, I’m sure we would be astound to find how we aren’t the only ones suffering. With that said I have to remind myself almost hourly to not judge and change my mindset.

  • Sometimes I think that our judging of other parents comes from being unsure of whether we are being the best parents we can be too. Of course everyone wants to be the “best” so it is easier to put others down instead of being open to sharing information.

  • I think that’s great that you got a little wisdom in thinking about the whole situation. You never know, she may have gained some from seeing the freedom you gave your kids!

  • It really is so easy to judge other parents. I’ve tried NOT to be that person and I really have to watch my thoughts.

    We don’t do strollers anymore (mine are 10 and 5) but I can see how it would be nice to have sometimes!

  • I agree with Cat!
    With three kids, I mostly feel lucky to keep track of all of them while out and come home with the same three kids!

  • I applaud you for bringing this up and sharing so honestly because we all fall into that trap sometimes.. And I LOVE your conclusion!!! Yes we must make it a habit to learn from other moms and dads and recognize their strengths. Every chid is unique, every mom, dad… and every situation and we really seldom know the whole story. Thanks for the beautiful reminders 🙂

  • I definitely find myself preemptively defending myself quite often because I know how common it is for people to judge. Everyone gets judged, but I definitely feel like it happens more to parents.

  • I’m ALWAYS watching other people’s kids when I’m not. Not to judge, but just to see how I’m doing in comparison. I always feel like most everyone has it together better than me!

  • I hate how other moms judge each other all the time. We are all doing our best to raise our kids, we really need to stick together and be there for each other. 🙂

  • Thanks for sharing, I use to be the mom you see with a 5-7 yr old in the stroller, it is easier I can say to do that, my kids are very curious and they touch just about everything, most of the time they wanted to ride in said stroller even after I said no, that they were too big to ride in it, that’s when my 9yr old 7 at the time would say, “I’m too fat?” I’m thinking to my self, where in the world did she get this? No matter how I tried to explain that she was not fat, it’s just she a big girl now and she no longer needed the stroller, she wasn’t having it, wouldn’t take no for an answer. So despite my back problems, I put her in the stroller just to keep her quiet. At times us parents need to learn to pick our battles with our kids, and this was one I choose not to fight nor argue about. I was the mom who would be 8months pregnant and have a one yr old on one hip and a two yr old on the other so they would stop screaming the word up, all because they didn’t want to walk. I agree at times I was the parent who judged, I have to admit still do at times, but I have to tell myself that these parents are doing a great job, and I wouldn’t want them to judge me on how I parent my children.
    thanks for this post

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