We all have moments in life where we just ask ourselves, is this really happening? The need to laugh at the absurdity of it all, because if we don’t, if we do not learn to laugh at it, we are doomed. Unfortunately, I have many of these moments. Or maybe it is fortunate, this crap keeps me on my toes.
I spent the whole day working on the never ending laundry. Sorting out seasons and things that don’t fit etc, for my little big family of 6. I don’t know why I keep doing it, as in a couple of days someone will go looking for something and mess up all my nice little piles and bins that I will “get to”. But alas, I keep on. I need something to keep me busy while I enjoy Judge Milian and Judge Judy. Don’t judge me, they are almost as smart as me, I can listen to these ladies all day.
After my laundry day, playing chauffeur, and making an awesome dinner I needed a much-deserved shower. I am in there 3.2 seconds and the banging on the door ensues. “You’re going to have to wait!” That’ll show ’em. Few minutes later, more banging followed by “I REALLY NEED TO GO!” Fine! I let them open the door to let in my #3 son. Since the door is open, of course this means everyone HAS to come in and offer me their thoughts, suggestions, and feelings. Hubs come in….blah blah blah. Oldest daughter, blah blah blah. Finally, my son comes in and sits down. “You’re just gonna pee right? ” A very weak response follows. “I’m not sure…” I hear some wee grunts…sniff, sniff. Nope..pooping.
I had hoped it would be a quick pit-stop and then my nice, hot shower would be on its merry way, but who the heck am I kidding? I’m a mom with four kids. All normalcy stopped that day I was ok with numerous people taking peeks at my who-ha.
“Mommy the steam from your shower is making me hot” I lower my water to cool. “I’m still hot!” I bang on wall. “Open up the door because he’s hot!” I feel the cold air rush in!
Meanwhile, the shower head that I love decides to fizz out on me. I’m like WTF?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! ” What’s wrong mommy?” “The shower head is not working, the water is just pouring!” “I wanna see!” “You can’t get in here with me.” “My body is all itchy, I want a bath.” “You need to wait till I get out!” I’m still trying to figure out the shower head. “I wanna get in there with you!” “NO.” “But I used to when I was little” You’re EIGHT years old! You cannot shower with me!!!” Believe it or not, this exchange went on for a few minutes.
My oldest daughter comes in to help him clean up (he’s special needs, don’t judge). By this time, I’ve given up on my shower. I have turned off the water and I’m standing there with a towel to cover up. oh yeah, I forgot to mention the shower door fell off the track, so only one side of the shower is covered up.
Freaking well deserved shower. This is my life people. It’s happening now.
As I type this sitting on the toilet to air dry my #4 bangs on door and says in one breath, “i-really-need-to-go-and-are-you-almost-done???!”
I have lost all patience. YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE ME A MINUTE!
#4 completely bothered by my response lets out a huge, “SHEESH!”
I hear much yelling and commotion outside the door.
I am informed he peed on himself, so I had to run out in my underwear and a towel.
This is my life.
My sister texts me that it all sounded fun. She has no kids, obviously. But I tell her she’s right, I secretly love this craziness. I would be lost without them.
This is my life, I love it.